Down These Walls
by Snows Of Yester-Year
Summary: Nightmares of her dad's horrific accident were rare now, only plaguing her when she had a particularly stressful day. And today had been very stressful indeed.


The passage of time had been good to Deryn. She still missed her Da horribly, her chest twingeing when he crossed her mind, but it was a considerable step down from the pervasive, aching misery that occupied her being in her younger years. And nightmares of the horrific accident were rare now, only plaguing her when she had a particularly stressful day.

Like today, for example.

Today had been very stressful indeed.

They were preparing to travel halfway across the continent for a diplomatic mission, and Dr. Barlow ran them both ragged with preparations. They went in before dawn broke in an effort to make it out a bit earlier, but the attempt was in vain. The sun was setting by the time they started trudging home.

She made it home before Alek only because they had needed groceries and he had taken one look at her haggard face before ordering her ("...please") back to their flat to rest. After clumsily unlocking the door, pushing it open with her shoulder, and kicking it shut again, she made it exactly as far as the table – the closest elevated platform to the door – before collapsing into the chair nearest to her, half-draping her exhausted body across the surface of the table. The worn grain of the wood dug uncomfortably into her forehead, but she didn't care. She just sat in the dead silence of their flat for a few minutes, relishing the feeling of being able to hold still and do nothing. Bovril, a squick startled by her abrupt entrance, eventually ventured over to greet her, attempting to capture her attention for a few moments before giving up and draping itself across the back of her neck like a living, breathing, talking scarf.

"I'm not a pillow, Bovril," she said, her voice somewhat muffled by her position.

"Not a pillow," it echoed dutifully.

She sighed, closing her eyes again. There were worse things than sitting in an empty apartment with a fabricated loris perched on top of you, after all.

A loud _thunk_came from the door, followed by muffled swearing. Deryn opened one eye to glare in the general direction of the noise. A jangling soun, the light rasp of metal against metal, and the door opened, revealing her best friend and general everything. He was attempting to re-adjust his grip on a bag of groceries, an irritated scowl marring his face as he wrenched the key from the door and shoved it back in his pocket.

"What did you hit, your princeliness?" she asked as he kicked the door closed. Her voice sounded a bit hazy, even to her own ears. Bovril abruptly vacated its perch on her neck to greet Alek.

"My head," he deadpanned. She didn't have the energy to raise an eyebrow at him, but the look she was wearing must have conveyed the same general idea, because he sighed as he made his way over to the tiny kitchen, continuing over his shoulder, "I was rushing to get in and I tripped."

"You're all right?"

"I'm fine. Would you like something to eat?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"You're not hungry?"

"I'm barking _tired_ is what I am."

He stuck his head out of the kitchen, frowning lightly at her. "You're always hungry, though."

Truthfully, her stomach _was_ growling just a few minutes ago, but at the moment, crawling into bed and sleeping sounded like the best thing in the world.

"I need sleep, Alek," she muttered, pushing her chair back with a groan of effort. She heard his footsteps draw close to her as she sluggishly rose from her seat. As soon as she was standing, he pulled her into an embrace, one hand reaching up to run through her short blonde hair. She sighed softly and wrapped her arms around his middle in return, burying her face into his shoulder.

"At least have a piece of fruit, Deryn," he chided softly, running his hand from her hair to trail down her spine. "You need to eat something."

She shook her head no, squeezing him closer. "Sleep now. Food...later."

He pulled back slightly to give her a stern look. "Deryn..."

"Skipping one meal isn't the end of the barking world," she muttered.

"And eating one apple isn't going to destroy your sleeping schedule," he countered. Without giving her an opportunity to respond, he leaned in to give her a quick kiss before pulling away abruptly, vanishing into the kitchen to fetch her an apple. She swayed briefly on the spot, the sudden absence of his arms draped around her shoulders and his body holding her steady scrambling her attic a bit. It was lucky he was fast, or she might have just dropped down to sit on the floor, and then he probably would have had to carry her stubborn, half-asleep bum to the bedroom his barking self.

He pulled her into a one-armed hug and kissed her briefly but firmly, pressing the apple into her free hand when he pulled back.

"Now eat," he commanded gently.

She rolled her eyes and took a bite, leaning heavily into him as he guided her towards their bedroom. "You're way too stubborn."

"I see that as a talent," he countered as he pushed open their bedroom door. She ducked past him, moseying over to the bed and flopping face-down on it, her half-eaten apple rolling away on the bedspread.

"You could at least take your shoes off," Alek joked. "I don't think sleeping like that is going to be very comfortable."

She pushed herself up, shooting him a nettled look as she kicked off her shoes. "You're irritating. Is that a talent, too?"

"Yes," he grinned, "how did you know?"

When her sluggish, fumbling fingers failed to pull off her tie and unbutton her buttons fast enough, he heaved an exaggerated sigh, crossing the room to sit next to her and help her out of her clothes.

"Undressing me so soon, your princeliness?" she said, shooting him an exhausted grin. "Seems a bit early in the evening for such things."

"Don't be absurd," he countered smoothly, carefully helping her out of her shirt. "I'm _helping_ you get sleep, not _keeping_ you from it."

Deryn resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she stripped off her undershirt to access her bindings. She picked idly at the knot for a moment, frowning hazily at it as it resisted her efforts to undo it, before she finally coaxed it to unravel. She allowed the bindings to pool around her waist, clumsily gathering them up in one fist and tossing them in the general direction of their laundry basket (she missed). It was only then that it occurred to her that she was sitting half-naked in front of Alek.

"...Oh," she deadpanned, glancing awkwardly down at herself before shooting him an apprehensive glance over her shoulder. He was watching her face with an almost comical determination, one eyebrow quirked slightly.

"Sorry," she said, grabbing up her undershirt and jerking it back on roughly again. "Attic's a bit scrambled from today, y'know?"

"I'll take your word for it," he said evenly. He leaned over to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before standing up, stretching and grinning down at her. "Get some rest. I'm going to get some food and put away the groceries, and then I'll be in. And finish your apple."

"Aye, I will, don't worry."

"Good. Goodnight, Deryn."

"G'night, Alek."

The time between his departure and her falling asleep passed in a haze; the only things she was sure of was that she finished her apple, took off her pants, and managed to get under the covers. She fell asleep almost instantly, only vaguely aware of Alek sliding into bed next to her several minutes later. The second she felt the warmth of his body next to hers, she rolled over to cling wordlessly to him. He cuddled her closer in response, brushing a kiss against the top of her head before falling still and silent.

It would have been a fine end to a long and annoying day if the nightmare hadn't returned.

It had been months since the visions plagued her, so perhaps she was overdue, but that didn't make them any more welcome. The roar of the inferno engulfed her, the heat crashing down on her in waves, the blinding light of the fire blasting away everything else in her vision. The snapping of ropes, the hiss and crack of the blaze, the horrific smell of burning –

"Deryn!"

Hands on her shoulders shook her once, briefly, frantically trying to coax her awake. She jerked in response, sitting up abruptly before falling back against one of her elbows. Her eyes fluttered open to see Alek half-sitting up over her, his wide, worried eyes studying her closely. Moonlight spilled into their open window, bathing them both in its ghostly light. She stared wide-eyed up at him, her breath still coming in panicked, desperate gasps. The last fringes of the nightmare still clung to her consciousness, staining her waking thoughts and sights with the glow of the flames.

Then, abruptly, reality flooded her. She wasn't in Glasgow watching the balloon burn. She was in London. In her flat. In her bed, with the person that she was in love with next to her.

_It was only a nightmare._

A few unbidden tears slipped from her eyes. She sat up and hugged her knees to her body, pressing her forehead against them and taking several deep breaths. She was actually _shaking_, so intense was the nightmare.

She only sat like that for a few moments before she felt fingertips skimming hesitantly against her back. Alek slowly grasped her shoulder to pull her against him, and she wrapped her arms around him gratefully in response. She squeezed her eyes shut and pressed her forehead against his collarbone, trying desperately to coax herself to calm down. She focused on the feeling of his hand running across her sweat-dampened back, the soothing sensation along with the rhythmic feel of his breathing calming her and helping her to draw in slow, steady breaths again.

When she was finally composed again, she let out a dull groan, scowling lightly to herself. Alek knew about her nightmares, knew why she got them and was more or less used to dealing with them when they happened, but she still felt embarrassed. At her age, she shouldn't need someone to hold her hand and calm her down just because she had a barking nightmare.

Detangling herself from his arms, Deryn flopped heavily back down to the bed, rolling over onto her side so that she was facing the wall. After a moment, she felt his hand on her arm. He rolled her over on her back, studying her face seriously. His green eyes looked black in the dark of their room. She tried to keep her expression impassive as he locked their gazes. With a soft sigh, he finally leaned down and kissed her – very lightly, presumably to give her the opportunity to push him off or turn away if she didn't want to be kissed, but he deepened it when she pulled him down closer. One of his hands tangled itself in her short hair, the other reaching down to scoop up her hand and twine their fingers together. The feelings that flooded through her chased away her contrite irritation; it was hard to stay in a bad mood when Alek was kissing her.

He pulled away after a few minutes, pressing another brief kiss against her mouth. He let go of her hand to push her bangs back from her forehead, kissing her there as well for good measure. She shut her eyes at the feel of his lips against her skin, her heart fluttering happily. He finally steadied himself above her, studying her silently in the dim, clear light of the moon.

"It's okay to be upset, Deryn," he said softly.

She blinked up at him, rolling her eyes and looking away. At her reaction, he leaned down to kiss her again, but she nudged him away, turning slightly so that he couldn't try it again. He sat up straighter, the hand that was in her hair finally falling away to rest against her shoulder for a moment. When it was evident that she wasn't going to respond to him, he leaned down to wrap her in his embrace.

"I still miss my parents, you know," he started slowly. He pressed his forehead against hers. "I don't really like to talk about it very much, or...think about it, really, but I do. I want to tell them about my life. I want them to meet you. I just want to see them again. But..."

His voice broke suddenly, and she couldn't even pretend to be irritated with him. She pulled him across the brief distance left between them to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck to hold him against her. When be broke away, he was smiling, albeit somewhat sadly.

"There, see?" he whispered. "You help me."

"Aye, I guess."

"And I want to help you, too."

She nodded slowly, pulling him back down for another kiss. His hand found hers again, pinning it to the sheets up close to her head.

She broke away from him and asked, "You really don't mind it?"

"Don't mind what?" he murmured absentmindedly, shifting to kiss her neck.

She drifted her hand up to rake her fingers through his hair. "Hm...me...waking up up in the middle of the night with my daft nightmares, arguing with you about silly things, just being a general _Dummkopf_..."

"You aren't a _Dummkopf._"

"I _am_."

"Well, then, you're my _Dummkopf._"

She snorted softly. "Aye, fair enough." She hugged him tighter against her, unspeakably happy to have him there with her. "I love you, Alek."

"I love you, too." He pressed a quick kiss against her cheek before rolling over to the side again. "Now, unless you want tomorrow to be worse than today, get some rest. We still have a lot to do, and doing it half-asleep isn't going to help matters."

She groaned. "Why must you be so barking reasonable? Can't we stay up a bit longer?"8

"Stay up and do what?" he asked, perplexed.

She had to laugh as she crawled on top of him to kiss him again. Barking oblivious, her prince could be sometimes.


End file.
